Recent dinner conversation with my parents.
Mom: I liked that place in Santa Barbara!
Dad: The one for old people?
Mom: You're 77.
Dad: Nobody was there. Two people and they were sleeping.
Me: You'd fit in then. You took three naps today.
Dad: I like activities.
Mom: Like BINGO.
Me: A game of skill.
Mom: And for people who don't like to cook. (Two hands raised violently in the air.)
Me: They're having a cupping.
Mom: (dumbfounded)
Me: You know? With coffee? I saw the postcard?
Dad: You don't cook! (shoveling green beans with almonds into pie hole)
Mom: I don't want a roommate.
Me: A stranger farting?
Mom: At that age? To have a roommate?
Dad: Furthermore, it's expensive.
Me: Don't worry. We'll just throw you in the yard. Put up a nice tent.
Mom: Toss me some apples occasionally.
Me: Are these the chocolates with turbinado salt? Trader Joe's?
Dad: What's for dessert?
Mom: Almond crescent?
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