Sunday, March 7, 2010

Don't Be Yourself

About a month ago I went out with C. He had posed with old people in his profile photos. At the time, I thought that was endearing. He was sweet! Instead of trying to look Portland-sporty on top of Mt. Hood or on a bike, he was hanging with the geriatric crowd. Now, I second guess that assumption.

When I got back from a date with C. I made a list of all his troubles:

bone disease (okay now, but limps)
parents: alcoholics
dad cheated on mom
dad: recent break up
dad had an aortic embolism (nearly killed him)
glasses (can't read the menu)
bi-polar brother
gave away a dog, too much energy, feels bad
former alcohol problem (drinks Pellegrino)
special diet, trainer
temporary tooth (want to see?)
bad wisdom tooth operation
stigmatism so rare his doctor couldn't advise him

Lesson learned: One does not need to be one's self entirely. I hope I do not do this on my dates. But I just don't have quite as much baggage to do so, even if I wanted. I thought the purpose of a first date is to have fun. Am I wrong?

Not only did I get to hear about all of these wonderfully romantic topics, I also got to pay for my half of the pizza. So that's $15 for two slices at Apizza Scholls and two to bring home. The next night, though I wasn't in the mood for pizza again, I ate the slices. "It's the principle!" my dad would yell out.

I'll be damned if I'm paying $15 for two slices.
And here I am again, giving up on the male population.