Practice a Fall

Tush in a Harness Much?

Brookyln Boulders Rock Gym at 575 DeGraw Street was not easy to find, but well worth the wandering through deserted streets that dead ended with the Gowanus Canal, only a pinch less beautiful than Venice. Even the floating debris like the empty milk carton I spied on its milky surface seemed ephemeral.

A friend and I walked right past the entrance but then saw an attractive, tall man in his 30s with a gym bag going the other way and we U-turned. Once you get through the beginning scent of feet or eau de locker room it becomes clear: this is where all the single men are spending their days. This is a plus. Putting my tush in a harness? A minus. Though larger than other appendages on my body, I'd only received compliments before. Aside from growing up and having a mother who called out very loudly in a fitting room, "Now turn around. Let me see your tush!" Then pinched the jeans or corduroys in her fingers declaring the pair, "much too tight."

Yes, the trauma was years ago but it lingers. It lingers!

Anyway, just wear flattering jeans or jeggings and you're golden. It was fun. And with the many signs that say, "No strollers," it is clear that kids are welcome but not their rides. People were kind, generous. Our instructor was pre-pubescent with acne and the hint of a mustache, and he forgot to introduce himself or provide a structure for the class. But I asked him for information like how long the class might be and what we were doing here and he obliged. My friend and I got caught giggling here and there (long story, cute boy in class with egg sandwich on lip) but once we got the figure-8 knot down, we were set.

My favorite part was practicing a fall. This is so utterly impossible to do and yet necessary. The climber lets go of the faux rocks and the person belaying is jolted and the rope needs to "catch" and there's an absence of drama. It strikes me as nothing like what it might be like on a real rock in a real world scenario, but it's as true as any fall: you try your best to prepare and yet you're totally caught off guard.

It requires attention (a hurdle for me) and patience and to baley is to really trust your partner. Not easy to put into words, but frankly the best three hours I've had since the move. Really fun and nice to focus on a physical task and not be in my head for a while. A bit pricey, at $60, but it includes an intro class, all the gear, a day pass (for that day) and then another day pass.

I'm looking forward to returning with jeans less low-waisted.

PS: If you're looking for a tasty Vietnamese sandwich within walking distance, that's spicy, cheap ($5) and a huge portion, try Hanco's - two locations:

www.hancosny.com

And not to be redundant here, but you do need a tasty bite if you're going to be brave and put your tush in a harness in public. At least this one.