Stood Up at 34

Yes, hard to believe but I have been stood up. I should be indignant. I should be upset. I should at least care. But clearly I don't. I felt a touch surprised, regretful that I'd missed happy hour drinks with a friend, P., but ultimately happy to go back home to the comfort of my little, warm house on a cold night and my dog's kisses and cuddles. This was supposed to be Date #2 with the physical humor guy (the one who I got drinks with while bugs swarmed us and ate our skin, remember?). I don't blame anyone for not keeping the guys straight, since I'm the one going out on these dates and can barely do so myself.

Dee-Tales:
We were supposed to meet at Nicholas's for dinner. I arrive promptly, which is pretty rare for me. Inside the restaurant is full of couples and packs of friends. I consider grabbing a table but decide against it. I go inside for a minute and feel thrust upon other people; there's no real foyer or waiting room or bar, all of which I don't care about except when feeling vulnerable and wanting to hide/wait in a dark corner, drink my drink, and live my god damn life. But I digress.

The short version is that my date's furnace blew out, he was headed out of the country the next, and day, and thought he had texted me a cancellation but texted the wrong person. I, being a Capricorn and steadfast myself, simply believed him. After all, why would a man ask a woman on a second date simply to stand her up? True, the circumstances might warrant some suspicion but I didn't go there. My friends and acquaintance, however, felt different - quite different. SOme bullshit detectors even went off in the process. "Sounds like crap," said one friend.

It may be, but since I had D. in NYC, nobody could touch me. So to speak. I already had someone to chit chat with, send funny texts, flirt via email. Who needs an actual, physical date? Until I started talkign with some friends.

You haven't met D. yet?
You HAVE to talk to him on the phone.
Can't put your life on hold just for him.
Who is this guy?
Texts and emails are one thing, but there could be zero chemistry in person.

While all these concerns are true, I was happy with my crumbs. I was happy flirting and teasing and writing and playing with D. I was happy in my cocoon with the web spun just around our two little selves, our brains connected via words, stories, modern technology.

Why burst my bubble, friends? I know, because you love and care about me and hate to see me disappointed. And D. could certainly disappoint: he has yet to actually call (I know I don't call him either) and he has failed to acknowledge my pleas for a visit. He may in fact be an obese Filipino woman living in Iowa. But damn! She's fucking awesome.